inthisdayofage

I leave Los Angeles in a month. As I sit here and think about how I’m leaving again for the second time it saddens me. The first time I left I moved all the way across the country. I don’t know why I did that! I had to be crazy, because now I find it so hard to just even move 2 hours north. They have a saying in this area where I grew up most of my life. It goes something like, “Once you leave, you always get sucked back in and come back.” This is true. I left the first time with so much pain and happiness to leave this place I have hated for so long. But once you are away you realize what’s important to you and you begin to miss that place and everyone that you left in good spirits. So I returned, the first night I drove through L.A I looked at the night skyline and was immediately on a high. I was filled with such happiness to be home. I missed this place, I missed things I didn’t think I would miss. This move thats taking me 2 hours north takes me out of L.A County. Right now I’m happy to leave L.A because I hate its trash. I am back to all the reasons why I left in the first place. But after nights like last night and tonight I don’t want to leave, because once I leave there is no coming back this time. I am at that point in my life where I am done here. I’m about to graduate, and head to grad school somewhere that I hope will make me happy. I have always been the type of person that likes change. But right now I’m afraid of change. I’m afraid to transfer my job, I’m afraid to move away from my friends, I’m afraid to move away from my family, and I’m afraid of leaving L.A. I reflect on all the good and bad times I’ve had here for the last 14-15?? years of my life. You either love or hate L.A. I think I finally am starting to love this place and accept it for its real harsh reality. Movies and television shows depict this city and area to be all glitz and glamour. But L.A is more then just one city. L.A is a big county that is filled with many residents in many suburbs of Los Angeles the city. There is a more sad side to this place than what is shown on television. If anyone came to visit, I would suggest skipping all the things you already know about and see on t.v. To really get a feel for a place I feel that you need to live there to experience the environment but also to get a feel of that in a quick trip the first thing would be to skip the touristy stuff and drive to the “ghettos” to see where most of these residence reside. This is our city, this is what makes us who we are.