inthisdayofage

So as I sit here and write to myself…I realize I am alone in my blog world. Haha. No one leaves comments. So I realized no one is reading this. So I’m just going to type about my day at work yesterday, since no one will read it and this is my own little private diary. Yesterday I had a somewhat good day at work. It started off good but then around lunch time I see some enemies walking in the door. I’m like great. So one of them is constantly looking at me so I raised my hands and said WHAT? Do these people really need to come into my work? They both live 15 mins away they could have gone to another store that was closer. They did that on purpose. Whatever. I know I am better then the both of them. They both don’t have jobs, don’t go to school…Can we say loser status??? Hahaha So then my friend comes in and we head to lunch and had some yummy food at this asian place. The guy that worked there kept checking me out which makes me feel pretty, even though I know I wasn’t looking my best. haha Then the night gets better at work..No enemies come in, I’m surrounded by my friends and we are having a good time, then a fight breaks out in the store and I get to run over there to check it out, then someone was stealing so I got to help with all that ringing up the total and what not to see how much they would have ran out the doors with. So all in all it was a pretty fun day at work that made up for the two enemies coming in. Well anyway I am going to the store now to do some shopping.

Hellllo people!!!!! Is there anyone out there? I think my life is pretty fascinating and you should too!! Come read my blog and post comments. I need love here!!!! So anyway, today was a horrible day. I got sick last night, woke up still sick, head to school (good girl) and we get our tests back. Ok this is where the sad part comes…I have always hated tests and I’m always the first one done cause I like to get the heck out of there. So professor writes on the board how many grades there was in each category. A B C D F….. So yeah I get my test back and I did the worst in the class!!!! Okay now if thats not depressing tell me what is!? I was sooo upset that once class ended I stormed out of there and was pissed the whole hour and half home. I swear I can’t let this happen again. I hate being last! I am going to reeeeally study for the next one. I mean I’m not that dumb of a person. I’m about to graduate with a bachelors degree in Sociology. I hate tests… So upsetting. Anyway I’m really glad I do really good on papers, I blow people out of the water on that one. My paper for this class will be extremely good to make up for my stupid tests. hahaha So yeah today was a sad day for me so if someone leaves me a comment on this blog I’ll be sooo happy. Please? Anyone? 

I got inspired by this blog from reading a friends blog, she wrote a poem about what love was and so I went from there…This was written by me a few years ago….I think love is a myth. If no one can exactly agree on what love is (that includes emotions) then it isn’t real. Right? If someone believes in love, shouldn’t they believe in the easter bunny as well? Love and lust are easily confused, you know its lust when a certain person doesn’t do it for you anymore like they used to when you thought it was love. Are we just falling out of love or was it really just lust all along? So when people marry are they just settling? If we don’t marry society views us different and puts us into certain categories, like there is something wrong with us if we are 40 and still unmarried. What if someone doesn’t believe in love and never wants kids-marriage would never be an option. Maybe marriage is a partnership, someone to share the housework with, when you grow old someone to help take care of you. After spending lots of intimate time with someone a dependency is created that gives you the feeling that you can’t go a week without seeing them. They complete you, a really good friend you can settle down with.  When I wrote this I was going through the anti marriage stage and kids. I had a long discussion with my friend Matt about what love is and how can we define it. We both agree that love is a myth. Society puts labels on things, if you are religious and you want kids you basically have to get married unless you don’t want to be casted out of the group. I would love for peoples opinions on this. :D 

Okay so after watching tonight’s episode I’m really sad to see Jillian leaving and NOT Molly. I think Molly needs to go but apparently Jason doesn’t think so. Well I think his facial expression when Molly said in her video that she is falling in love with him changed his mind a bit. I almost felt like he was going to send her home but when he saw her video he second guessed it and decided to keep her. I’m not sure what it is about her but I just don’t like it. Maybe its because I have been a fan of Melissa from the get go, even before she was on the bachelor. When she was on the Dallas Cowboys cheer squad I was a fan. I hope Melissa wins, I want to see her happy with someone. It needs to be her time for love. She is ready and I think she would be a better stepmom to Jason’s son Tai or however you spell it. The thing about Melissa is that Jason has never met her family and the viewers can all see that this bothers him. He continues to bring it up and we can see that it upsets Melissa that her family wouldn’t meet him with the cameras there and what not. I think it sucks but I hope that Jason can overcome this. I mean does he really want to be apart of a family that brings out stupid hats and makes him draw pictures of Molly? I mean…weird. right? But since we don’t know what Melissa’s family is like I have nothing to compare to but I still love Melissa and hope that she wins Jason’s heart. She deserves it and I can honestly say I can see her taking care of his heart for yeeeeears to come. So to Molly: I’m sorry you had to compete against an amazing woman like Melissa, because you will lose to her. May you find love but not from Jason because he is Melissa’s man.

This lovely blog is about the ex’s in our lives. Cheers to them being out of our lives right? Or no? Well, there is this song I listen to when I get really emotional about an ex. Its called “Never (Past Tense)” by The Roc Project. I highly recommend anyone to download this song so when you are being sad over an ex you can listen to this song and become strong again. “You’ll never hear me crying, You’ll never see me trying..Your love….sooo past tense” Beautiful lyrics. Recently one of my ex’s started talking to me, finally!! out of the blue. So I figured me must be 100% over me and that we can be friends now. So I asked him if he was seeing anyone, and he responds…. “Yes I have been dating her for about a year and a half now.” I was thinking wtf! Thats real quick to meet another girl after we broke up. It has been two years, somewhere around there. Well anyway it hurts, even thought I was the one that left him. I knew deep down in my heart that we weren’t good for each other but it still hurts. I mean here I am still single and he’s been in a relationship for a year and a half now. To make things worse… 2 not 1 but 2!!! of my ex’s recently deleted me on myspace. I mean its like why do I care? Honestly… I don’t know!! I think maybe it’s because they made the choice to basically delete me out of their life. So that is kinda upsetting. Am I not worth keeping in touch with? Am I not special enough? I just don’t know why I get such bad luck…..I keep asking when my happy ending will be……………???? Who knows, I want something special to happen to me, something cute, thats a story to tell the grandkids. 

is tomorrow and I have no date. Well my friend and I are going to catch an early afternoon movie. We are going to go see, “He’s just not that into you”. I have read the book and there was another book that came out that was called “Admit it, your not that into him either”. Both books were really good and I really think my friend needs to read both books and see this movie. I hope she can learn something from it because if anyone dates nothing but losers it’s her! She knows they are losers but she doesn’t care. She will say things like I know but I’m not going to pursue anything further with him, but its like why waste your time then? So yeah I don’t know. But I hope she learns a thing or two…or three. haha Then in my evening I’m supposedly heading to another friends house to have dinner, wine, movie, and sit in the hot tub outside. The thing is I don’t know if I am going to go because one of the drama starters that I mentioned in the blog “Hurt” will be there. She wants to apologize to me but she hasn’t yet. I don’t think I could ever forgive her, and she wasn’t a good friend to begin with. So it’s like I really don’t care what she thinks, and I don’t want to be around her because I think she is a horrible person. I have enough good friends in my life I don’t need to surround myself with people like her. Or…. Maybe I’ll go even if she goes and just make her uncomfortable by leaving her out of conversations or something. hahaha I don’t know, like I can go but not really talk to her and if she asks me about any of the drama stuff I’ll just respond with I know this won’t be just between us so I’d rather not comment or discuss any of this. hahahahaha oooh Valentines Day might just get a little better. hahaha DRAMA!

So I got a letter recently from the school I go to, I applied to their graduate program and was really nervous about it all. I didn’t think much of it, it was just something I needed to do. So I applied, I didn’t do anything special with my application, I just sent it in as fast as I could. Well next thing I know I’m getting a letter back from them saying………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Congratulations!!!!!!!!! You have been accepted to our graduate school program! So now that I’m getting a little cocky I’m thinking about applying to Washington State University Seattle. Thats where I really want to go to school. So I’m going to apply there as well and if I get accepted there thats where I’ll be going to grad school. So exciting. So hopefully that goes according to my plan. Well I’m about to get ready to watch survivor now so I’m out.

So lately I have been having some drama with “friends”. The one has been a really good friend of mine for yeeears and now hes going around telling people I’m secretly in love with him and that I’m trying to destroy his love life or whatever. NOT TRUE. I personally think he is gay and so do a lot of other people that meet him. It all started with some people starting things and I somehow got involved and everyone is all friends again except me and him. Its stupid really, but I mean I’m trying to get over it. I have more important things to worry about then all of this. Things have been going good for me, besides all this drama and I want it to stay that way. Everything is coming together in my life. I guess there are just people in our lives that we just need to let go because they are too much drama. I don’t like drama, I like to surround myself with positive people who are good honest people. If a friend doesn’t fit any of that they need to be let go, and I guess this was his time. Maybe fate came into play, that there had to be all this drama and people turning against eachother for me to realize that he’s really not that good of a friend to begin with and just because we have been friends for yeeeears doesn’t mean I still have to keep a bad self centered friend. 

in the United States suck! Let me know if I am wrong but I don’t think so. I just watched the documentary called Sicko by Michael Moore. Just so everyone knows I’m not really a fan of his but when I saw this documentary being advertised a long time ago I told my mom that I really wanted to see it and she agreed. So tonight we finally watched it and my oh my was it good. It could be all biased but, according to his documentary, France, Great Britain, and CUBA!! all have better health care than we do. Universal health care and socialized medicine that Canada our neighbors to the north have is free! I recommend this video to anyone because it’s really an eye opener. United States is the ONLY westernized country that doesn’t have socialized medicine. Why is this? It all boils down to greed. I think America is one of the greediest nations. We are built on that because everything we want is bigger and better than what others have. The CEO’s of companies are soooo rich and all they are concerned about is cutting costs and building their bank accounts even more. How much money does a person really need??? 2 million a year sounds quite enough, but no no they need to turn away the poor that is dying because they are focused on cutting costs. HMOs hire people to basically be a hit man for them and find reasons to deny someone medical care. Its quite sad, and upsetting to see that this goes on in our country, the country that we are supposed to be so proud of and be very patriotic in honor of all the freedom we have, but how can we be patriotic when things like this are continuing to happen and people are LETTING this happen! The politicians are all bought out by the health care system to not support certain propositions that would harm them from getting a couple more million a year. Who cares if they deny care to a dying patient, if it cut costs and saves money DO IT. And this to me is DISGUSTING! God Bless America? or God Bless the Rich in America?